


Heroes for the Night (The Die Hard Moment)

by AgentDeathblade



Category: Lupin III
Genre: And the Brooklyn Nine-Nine Die Hard episode, Gen, It's just Lupin and Jigen friendship y'all, loosely based on Die Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentDeathblade/pseuds/AgentDeathblade
Summary: A night of shopping goes wrong when a weaponless Lupin and Jigen find themselves in a hostage situation.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III & Daisuke Jigen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	1. One Normal Night

**Author's Note:**

> From my incredibly drugged out (on medicine) and sleepy brain, I present to you, this fanfic! I hope it's a fun read!

“How the hell did we get into this situation?” Jigen, rightfully angry, asks Lupin.

It was just going to be a slow night with a very simple task: buy a gift for Fujiko then leave, but lady luck wasn’t looking down on them. Instead of spending an evening shopping for a gift, Lupin and Jigen find themselves in the middle of a hostage situation that's being held by 7 robbers.

_ Two hours ago… _

“Aw, come on, Jigen!” Lupin tries to convince his best friend.

“I said no.” Jigen replies back in frustration.

Lupin and Jigen’s day, er, night, has just begun and Lupin is already asking Jigen to do a daunting task: helping him buy a gift for Fujiko.

“Why not??” Lupin yells back.

“Why do you need  _ me _ to help you? You already know Fujiko inside and out! Literally. Plus, she’s not  **my** problem!” Jigen retorted back.

“Yeah, but…” Lupin slowly stops on his tracks.

“But what, Lupin?”

Lupin lowers his voice, “I get lonely sometimes.”

Jigen stays quiet. He seems to be preparing an epic comeback of sorts at Lupin’s statement.

“Bullshit.” he says coldly.

Not that epic, but hey, it gets the point across pretty well.

“What do you mean bullshit? It’s bullshit that I get lonely?” asked Lupin, which annoyed the hell out of Jigen.

The two suddenly become quiet. A few minutes pass by and after much pondering, Jigen gives into Lupin’s request. He’s never going to let this go until he comes with him. Besides, this task was just going to take an hour at most, what could possibly go wrong? 

* * *

Lupin and Jigen park the Fiat in front of the department store. This store had just opened a few weeks ago and it was a  **_fancy_ ** one too! Perfect for finding a gift for Fujiko. However, a fancy store means a much stricter security. They look at the tight security going on. They’ve guards, metal detectors, and a K9 unit. The works.   
  


“Well shit. This looks more like an airport than a friggin’ department store.” Jigen looks at the security, wondering how he’ll bring his beloved Magnum with him.

“I guess we’ll have to leave our guns in the car for the meantime.” Lupin said while hiding his Walther in the glove compartment. 

Jigen is hesitant, but has no choice. He puts his dear Magnum in the glove compartment too. 

“Besides, why would we need our guns to buy a gift?” Lupin says as he walks to the store. Jigen begrudgingly follows from behind. 

* * *

A few minutes pass by.

“Jigen, what do you think of this necklace?” Lupin holds a gold necklace in front of Jigen.

“Just choose one and let’s get out of here. I’m starting to miss my Magnum.”

“Geez, clingy much?” Lupin puts the necklace back to where he found it. 

All seems to be going well, when suddenly... **BANG!**


	2. Heroes for the Night

Lupin and Jigen duck for cover.

“What the hell was that?!” Jigen asks, instinctively reaching for his gun, but alas…”Dammit, Lupin.”

“Why is it my fault now?”

Lupin would continue, but they hear some chaos happening. Lupin and Jigen sneak past shelves to see what’s happening. They see several security guards on the ground, presumed to be dead, and two men pointing a gun at several people, clearly scared for their lives. 

“Is this...are we in a friggin’ hostage situation?!” Jigen yells as quietly as possible, but Lupin’s not paying attention to him. “How the hell did we get into this situation?!” Lupin still isn’t replying. “Lupin?! Are you paying attention to me?!”

Lupin snaps back into reality and gasps. “Jigen, this is our _Die Hard_ moment!”

Jigen looks at Lupin in disbelief. “ _Die Hard??_ Friggin’ _Die Hard_ is what you’re thinking about?” 

“Precisely, Jigen!” Lupin says with his usual cat smile, although the smile is annoying Jigen this time.

“How the hell could you be thinking about movies at this time?”

“Because what we’re going through right now is very similar to what happened in the movie and we’re--”

Jigen cuts off Lupin. “Don’t tell me your plan is going to be based on the movie.”

“N...no.” Lupin quietly says before making his voice a bit more audible again. “They could’ve seen the movie too, Jigen!” 

Lupin and Jigen’s bickering causes one of the robbers to walk towards their hiding spot.

“Crap! I think they noticed us.” 

“Ya think, Lupin?!” Jigen is still furious at Lupin.

“Let’s split up. And do a recon. Let’s see how many of them are there. I doubt they’re going to be stealing toys, so let’s meet at the toy section afterwards.” At least Lupin is finally forming a plan.

* * *

Jigen and Lupin do just that, sneaking past the man walking towards them. Lupin takes the north and west wings and Jigen takes the south and east wings, evading the paths the robbers can see them. After a few minutes of recon, both meet up at the toy section.

“How many were on your end?” Lupin asks.

“There were three on my end, they were spray painting the security cams.” Jigen replied

“And there were two on mine and they were doing the same thing.” Lupin said while playing with a toy sword. “Also...I called Pops.”

“You what?!” Jigen is shocked. Clearly. “Why would you call Zenigata?!”

“Look, we’re trapped in a hostage situation with no guns. What else was I gonna do?!”

“When all this is over, Zenigata is gonna arrest us, you friggin idiot!” 

“Relax, I told Pops it wasn’t us this time. Plus, Pops knows our M.O. We may be thieves, but we don’t _kill_ people as a warning.”

Jigen cools off a bit. Lupin does have a point. It’s not like they can do anything at the moment. 

“So, what are we gonna do?” Jigen asks.

“I guess we’re gonna wait until the cops show up.” Lupin replies back. Then his eyes light up like a Christmas tree. “Or we could--”

“Don’t say we _Die Hard_ it.”

“Would you rather stay in the toy section with me poking you with this sword relentlessly or would you rather take action and take these guys down ourselves? Hell, maybe even Pops would stop chasing us for a week or so if we stopped them!” Lupin’s excitement is immense. He really sees himself as a hero in a movie. And this is his big moment. “So Jigen, what do you say? Heroes for one night?”

Jigen thinks this over. Lupin did make a convincing argument. “Fine.” he gives in yet again. “But if something happens to us, it’s all on you.”

“Great! Let’s meet up here again in a few minutes and get items that we can use as weapons.” Lupin leaves a Post-it note on the toy sword.

Lupin and Jigen sneak out of the toy section and the two do exactly just that.

* * *

Meanwhile, there’s commotion going on outside as Zenigata and the police have arrived, which surprises the robbers since none of them could have called the cops. 

“Who the hell called the cops?!” One of the robbers exclaimed, pointing the gun at the hostages. The hostages are rightfully scared for their lives. One of the robbers shoots the ceiling as a threat. “Answer me, who the hell contacted them?” Just then, another robber runs in. 

“Boss! I found this note while combing the store.”

The ‘boss’ grabs the note and reads out loud: “ _Your robbing skills need practice and your methods are sloppy. Signed, Lupin the 3rd_.” 

The hostages _and_ the hostage takers are shocked. Could it be? The infamous phantom thief is among them? 

The head of the robbers gets _furious._ “Find him and kill him if necessary.”


	3. Welcome to the Party, Pal

Outside of the store, Zenigata and the cops are preparing to do some hostage negotiations. Zenigata approaches one of the cops.

“According to my source on the inside, there are 25 hostages and 7 armed robbers, ready to shoot the hostages.” Zenigata says. Just then, he receives another text from Lupin. “And according to my source, these robbers don’t want to talk to a negotiator.”

* * *

Back inside, Lupin and Jigen meet up again in the toy section. 

“Jigen, you have so many...knives?”

“Yeah! These are the most effective weapons in the entire store.” Jigen says rather happily.

“Well now I feel ashamed about getting a pan, a shovel, and this neat toy sword.” Lupin quietly said. “Anyway,” Lupin says out loud, “I got my most effective weapon.”

“You were able to sneak out and get our guns from the car?” Jigen lights up.

“No.”

Jigen’s face falls.

“I left them a note saying that Lupin the 3rd is in the building.” 

“You IDIOT.” Jigen couldn’t contain his frustration. “It was fine when they were oblivious of us just sneaking around here, but you just _had_ to announce that we’re inside the building with them? Now, they’re actually going to _look_ for us.” 

“It’s okay, Jigen. You have your knives and I have my pan and shovel.” Lupin tries to calm his friend down. “Now I said we’d be heroes for the night, but if they try to kill us or any of the hostages, feel free to stab them.” 

As Lupin and Jigen get ready to take down the robbers, Jigen suddenly asks a pretty important question “What do you think they’re stealing? Jewelry?” 

“It could be. But it could be they’re stealing the money from the safe that’s locked behind the store. That safe is pretty high-tech. It’s a tough one to crack.” Lupin says in an ‘as a matter of fact’ tone.

“How do you know that?”

“What? Did you think I wanted to go to this fancy store _just_ to buy Fujiko a gift? These bastards stole **my** plan.”

Just then, Lupin and Jigen hear someone walking towards them.

“Let’s get ready.” Jigen said, preparing his knife. Lupin walks to the other side so they’d have the robber cornered. 

One of the robbers sees Lupin and points a gun at him.

“So, Lupin the 3rd, was that note to mock us?”

Lupin holds his pan tightly. “No, actually. It was just an innocent critique on up and coming thieves. If you’re gonna get into this business, why not learn from the best?” 

Jigen steps in on the other side, holding a knife. Lupin points at him. “That’s my partner and bestest friend in the entire world, Daisuke Jigen. Normally, he works with a gun, but unfortunately, we had to leave them in our car to get into this store.” 

“But I’m not too sloppy on melee weapons either.” Jigen interjects.

“So, pal, mind telling us what your plan is?” Lupin inches closer to the robber.

The robber prepares to shoot his gun, but Lupin quickly hits his head with the pan. Jigen drops the knife he’s holding and runs straight for the gun.

“Aw, I wanted the gun.” Sometimes, Lupin can be a bit whiny. This is one of those moments.

“Your pan worked fine.” Jigen replies back, happy that he’s with a weapon he’s most familiar with. “What do we do with this guy?”

Lupin gets the brilliant idea to _Die Hard_ it. Lupin and Jigen tie him up to a pole and gag him. Lupin writes on the robber’s shirt: “We have a gun now. Ho ho ho.” 

“Ho ho ho?” Jigen is _confused._ “It’s the middle of spring. Are you...are you really bent on reenacting _Die Hard_??”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Lupin isn’t paying attention. He’s too busy planning their next move. “The robbers are holding the hostages by the main entrance. And I’m guessing some of them are trying to find us in the store.”

Jigen suddenly has a realization. “Is that why you sent the note? So that the robbers would leave the hostages alone and go for _us_ instead?” 

“Exactly, my dear Jigen!” Lupin happily says. “Obviously, the more guns they have there, the more dangerous it is for the hostages. And amongst the shoppers in this store, we’re the most capable of taking armed men down.”

Lupin’s finally making some sense. Jigen is pretty happy about it.

“Since these men are on the hunt for us,” Jigen checks to see how many bullets the gun has. It’s a full magazine. “I suggest we split up and divert them from the people. How’s it going with Zenigata outside?” 

“I told him that these thieves aren’t afraid to kill and that they should be on standby just in case something happens.” Lupin picks up his pan.

“Makes sense, I guess.” 

“Let’s go!” Lupin and Jigen part ways in hopes of diverting the criminals away from the innocent civilians. 

* * *

Three robbers see Jigen and go after him. They’re shooting left and right, but Jigen is in his element right now. Within three shots, they’re incapacitated.

“Normally in this kind of circumstance, I would’ve killed you.” Jigen says to all of them. “But I’m feeling nice tonight. So leave and never show your faces again.”

* * *

Meanwhile, Lupin is on the run from one robber. He should’ve brought the knives Jigen got, but alas, he’s stuck with a frying pan. Lupin makes a wish to lady luck and throws the pan at the robber. Lady luck strikes and the pan hits the robber, knocking him out. Lupin pats his back for this achievement, but his celebration gets cut short when he sees the room that has the safe in it. 

Lupin is in awe. He would try to crack the code of the safe tonight, but he told himself he’d be a hero for the night. Yet, he’s still curious about it, so he enters the room. He admires the handiwork put into building this safe. And yet, something feels _odd._ Just as soon as he realizes, he feels a gun at the back of his neck. 

"Boss, I found Lupin the 3rd."


	4. Yippee Ki Yay

_“Boss, I found Lupin the 3rd.”_

“Excellent.” The boss turns to the subordinate with him. “Keep an eye on these hostages. Make sure none of them move or make a sound.”

The boss walks towards the room where Lupin and the safe are being held. Jigen spots him and quietly follows him. The boss enters the room and Jigen peeks into it and sees Lupin being held at gunpoint by the robbers. He slowly walks back, hoping none of them would notice him. 

“I guess it’s up to me now.” Jigen quietly says to himself, trying to formulate a plan in his head. 

“So, you caught me.” Lupin says to the robbers, his confidence never wavering. “By the way, what are your names? You know, so I don’t have to keep on calling you guys ‘Robber 1’ and ‘Robber 2’.” 

The leader smirked at this. “You can call me Hans. And the guy holding a gun at you is Simon.” 

_Holy shit. This really is Die Hard. Next you’re gonna tell me their family name is Gruber._ Lupin thought to himself. 

“Nice names.” Lupin said out loud. “So, _Hans_ , what can I do for you?”

“Prove to me you’re the world’s greatest thief. Open that safe.”

Lupin sees this as an opportunity to play the hero. “I would. But on one condition: let those hostages go.”

Hans sighs and speaks to his two way radio. “Release those hostages. Besides, we have the most important hostage with us.” 

* * *

The robber guarding the hostages finally lets them out of the store. Zenigata runs up to one of them. 

“What’s happening on the inside?” Zenigata asks.

“I don’t know. The robbers just released us, because they said they ‘have the most important hostage with them.’” 

Zenigata realizes that the robbers have found Lupin.

* * *

Hans addresses Lupin again. “Okay, the hostages have been released. Now, time to do your part.”

Lupin takes a deep breath. “Okay.” 

“When he’s done, make sure to kill him.” Hans whispers to Simon.

Hans and Simon point their guns at Lupin as he tries to break the safe’s codes. Before Lupin can finish, they hear something drop just outside the door. 

Simon aims his gun at the door. “Whoever is there, show yourself.”

Jigen slowly enters the room with a knife in his hand. Lupin looks at his friend in shock and disbelief. Now the two of them are captured. 

“A friend of yours?” Hans asks Lupin. 

Lupin nods.

“Drop the knife and slide it over here.” Hans orders Jigen and he does exactly that.

 _Why would Jigen bring a knife here if he had a gun?_ Lupin asks himself. Then it hits him. _Unless…_

“Sorry, Lupin. I didn’t really think this through.” Jigen tells his friend.

“It’s okay, Jigen.” Lupin says. “At least we get to die together.” 

The safe opens. The men look at the contents of the safe. There must be millions of dollars in this thing!

“Thanks for your service. Unfortunately, you’ve outlived your usefulness.” Hans says as he cocks his gun. “Any last words before we shoot you and your friend?”

“Yes.” Lupin says, smirking. “Yippee ki yay, motherfucker.”

Lupin ducks. Jigen pulls the gun duct taped to his back and shoots the robbers. It all happened quickly. They finally did it. They had the perfect _Die Hard_ moment. Lupin pulls out his phone and calls for Zenigata to enter the building and arrest these robbers.

* * *

Lupin and Jigen exit the building feeling pretty damn good about themselves.

“Well, Lupin.” Zenigata says to his lifelong frenemy. “Looks like you can be a good guy after all if you choose to be one.”

“Aw, Pops. Don’t you dare think I’d give up my reputation as the world’s greatest thief for this. You can take the credit for this one, Pops.” Lupin replies back. 

“So Zenigata,” Jigen interrupts their conversation. “I think it’s fair to say that you owe us some kind of compensation. Like, maybe...not trying to arrest us for one week.”

Zenigata stops to think about this. “Fine. Get out of here.” 

Lupin and Jigen run to the Fiat before Zenigata changes his mind.

“Catch ya later, Pops!” Lupin exclaims as they drive off.

* * *

“So, did you ever buy a gift for Fujiko?” Jigen asks Lupin. 

“CRAP! I forgot about that!” 

Lupin stops the car.

“Jigen…” 

“Yeah?” Jigen lights up a cigarette.

“Can you come with me to another store?” Lupin shyly asks.

“HELL NO!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was that. I hope the fic was good! Or at least...fun at best.


End file.
